Rhetorical Questions

is love real?

i have not felt love
not for a very long time-
but what if i did love someone?

then it would be the same anxiety
wondering if they love me in return
and if they do love me,
then we will stay together
only until they figure out
we don’t speak the same language
and then it will be over

but maybe it’s better that way

i like having my own language
being my own person
alone, i can’t be brainwashed
into becoming what they want

people are always changing you

i can’t remember the last time
i got an actual love note
though i must have written thousands
those many years ago when i was hopeful
naive
i still write them
to the shadows i don’t believe in
and send them out into virtual space
to lull strangers’ eyes to sleep
to be stolen and passed between lovers
to be part of a life i will never live

there are many cuentos de alas, fairytales
that we trick ourselves into believing
one is that the love we give will come back to us
i have given the world much of my love
and it has given me much of its silence

but the silence lets me work without interruption
so maybe it is better that way
but sometimes when i eat my bread
i think about how i wouldn’t mind some roses, too.