Sometimes people like to sniff things. Markers, glue, socks. I’m constantly pulling sharpies and highlighters away from the olfactories of my overly eager teenage pupils, but what I saw today just takes the cake topper. A kid walked up to my board, took my roll of toilet paper [cheaper than buying tissue boxes for all those runny noses], sniffed the roll, then put it back down.
Me: Did you just sniff my toilet paper?
Kid: [looking dazed and a little sheepish] Yes?
Me: [without batting an eye] Did it smell good?
Kid: [furrows brow] No? It didn’t smell like anything.
Another kid chimes in: Well, it’d be weird if your toilet paper smelled like something.
Kid 1 nods head vigorously in agreement.
Me: What if they DID sell scented toilet paper? NO! Toilet paper with lotion in it!
*Children begin to back away slowly in fear*