Catch Some Wide Eye

Come Talk to Me

… these are the first one hundred characters
of the most self-conscious thing you have ever read.

sometimes when you stare at me so long
i wonder if there’s something wrong with me
like do my clothes not match?
am i naked?
wait, i’m a poem so of course i’m naked.
unless i talk about clothes, right?
maybe i should get dressed:
underwear, jeans, shirt, jacket.
there, now you can stop giving me that funny look,
the one with your shoulders all hunched forward
and your head leaning towards the screen
and your eyes glazed over like a zombie.

wait, you’re expecting me to perform for you,
aren’t you?
well i’m not your little lap dog, mister.
i don’t take orders from anyone.
let me tell you, i earned my degree and…
oh right.
i’m a poem.
i have no degree.
well, this is embarrassing.

but maybe that isn’t it at all.
maybe you think i’m boring.
maybe you were bored before
and you felt like reading something that fit your mood
so you started to stare at me
because you think i’m boring.

but that’s a LIE!
i’m not boring at all!
i’ll show you…
(stomps off and grabs some fireworks)

i think i just had a midlife crisis.
except i can’t have a midlife crisis because i’m inanimate.
and you’re listening to me talk.
ok, ok, you’re ‘reading’ me talk
but is there REALLY a difference between them in internet world?

i can’t believe you’ve been staring at me this whole time.
please don’t eat me.
hey, maybe that’s not it at all.
maybe you think i’m attractive.
well look at you!
i’m not really good at flirting.
i must say i really am flattered,
but i don’t really think it can work out between us.
because i have no body.
i also have nobody.
i’m all alone.
sitting here in space.
being stared at by some stranger
who is really starting to make me feel uncomfortable.
do i have broccoli in my teeth?
oh right, i forgot. poem. i don’t have teeth.

ooo, i have a great idea!
maybe if i go away, you’ll stop staring at me!

…. these are the last one hundred characters
of the most self-conscious thing you have ever read.


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3 thoughts on “Come Talk to Me

  1. great great great opening lines. reminds a little of shel silverstein (minus the rhyming)

  2. this is so fantastic, i stared all the time at you 🙂 🙂

  3. opoetoo on said:

    no teeth but fireworks , I need to know more about poems!

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